Dear Reader,

Welcome to my first blog post EVER. I must admit, this is scary for me. I’m not much of a writer, but I feel a shift coming on and I’m ready for my voice to be heard. This is a topic I’ve been pondering for many years, “just because she’s pretty, doesn’t mean you’re not.” Believe it or not, this whole entire idea was presented to me by my beautiful niece Kayla. She is completely unaware of this, because you see, she simply posted these exact words on her Facebook wall one day. It’s a funny thing isn’t it – posting one’s thoughts on social media. We are seeking validation from acquaintances to help us feel better about our choices, thoughts, and situations. What we don’t realize is that words have incredible power, both good and bad!  In this case, I was simply scrolling and came across these words, “just because she’s pretty, doesn’t mean you’re not.”

These loaded words. I sat and thought about this for a very long time. How many times do we assess our value by comparing ourselves to others? I believe this is an epidemic that affects 99.9% of females, and most men as well. Our fragile egos are all hung up on our false images. Think about it … How many times have you woken up with a fresh start, ready to start the day, when you open social media and immediately feel defeat? You see images of your perfect friends, with their perfect spouses, playing with their perfect kids, in their perfect house, heading to their perfect job. That’s a complete load of bullshit. You know that right? Immediately we begin the day with a sense of defeat. “She is so pretty. She has the perfect life.” Ummm, no. If you believe this, you have fallen into the trap of the dreaded scarcity mindset! I’m here to encourage you to completely change your perspective on this!

Let’s talk about how we can turn comparison into compliments, OK? It’s that easy folks. What do you LOVE about other people? Is your friend smart, attractive, has a great marriage? Well guess what? She is thinking amazing things about you too. Just because she’s pretty, doesn’t mean you’re NOT. Have you heard the statistic about becoming like the 5 people you associate with the most? If your friend is smart, hang out with her! If your sister is a great mom, learn from her! If your cousin has a great marriage, tune into that and take notes! If your friend is killing it at life, tap into that!  As women, we must ALIGN ourselves with the very best people we can possibly find. Those unique soul sisters that can see past comparison and get right down to the good stuff – supporting one another and lifting each other up. Just because she’s pretty, doesn’t mean you’re NOT.

Let’s talk about that phrase in the literal sense. I’ll give you an example. A few days ago, my daughter got off the bus and wanted to chat my ear off (imagine that!!!). She went on and on about these two friends with whom she shares a seat on the bus. One has brown skin, and black hair and wears her hair up in a bun every day. The other has red hair and freckles. My daughter happens to be a blonde-haired, blue-eyed tomboy Goldilocks. These little ladies are in Kindergarten (it starts young folks). You should have heard my daughter ramble on about how beautiful these girls are! I listened intently, and finally when she was done I said, “isn’t it amazing how we can all be so different, and each one of us is equally as beautiful? Just because your friends are pretty, doesn’t mean you’re not. They are thinking the exact same things about you!”

You see, I believe we are not here to live in competition and comparison each day, but instead we are meant to build each other up. There is power and fulfillment in lifting up the ones you love. If you turn comparison into compliments, you will find yourself in an ongoing cycle of VIBRANCY.  You will become open and approachable, ready to attract the most amazing people into your life.  It’s a beautiful thing.

As a former teacher, I am a huge fan of homework and personal growth.  Every time you read one of my blogs (thank you by the way!), I will give you some homework to work on throughout the next week. After all, here at She Prospers, we promote life-long learning and a growth mindset to become the very best version of yourself. The goal is to never peak people!!! So, your homework for this week is to turn your comparison into compliments. Each day, take the time to give 3 compliments to others. You will FEEL a lift in your mood and energy. Your prize is – you will become a better version of yourself than you were yesterday! Try it starting now … Power to the SHE!!