Every day in life we are faced with millions of choices. Choices about work, about family, or even what we are going to eat. Should I eat the donut for breakfast, or should I take the time to make a healthy meal? We go round and round in our heads to decide. Some of us make quick gut instinct decisions, and some of us need time to rationalize what it is we are going to do. We may make a list of all the pros and cons, ask for advice, or even end up doing what others want us to do.

Life is full of choices, but what is it in life that makes us click? What really helps us focus on what we want to be or do? How do we get down to the root of making that choice? Is it the values we are brought up with, or is it the circumstances we face? Whatever it is, we all do it differently. We all have different barriers we face and all have grown up with different backgrounds. Sometimes we even make rash decisions based off our emotions and feelings.

In the last year and a half, I have been through a rollercoaster of change. I have made decisions I never thought I would have to make. I have spent many nights looking over my upcoming choices to be sure what I was deciding was best for myself and my family. I was an emotional wreck for quite some time. Then one day a friend said to me, “if one of your daughters was in this situation what would you want them to do?” And it hit me… I knew what I needed to do, but I was scared. Scared of hurting others, scared of hurting my children, and just plain scared of the unknown. I was afraid of what others were going to say and that they would think I was a failure.

Through this I learned the scariest decisions are the hardest ones to make, but they also help you grow in ways you can’t imagine.  Facing my fears head on, I learned what I needed to do would be the best choice for myself and my family at that time. That let me drop some baggage and realize I was tired of caring what everyone else was going to think.  This was my life and I know I deserve to be happy too.

My decisions have given me “Amber” back.  I no longer feel like I am so and so’s ex-wife, or Lilly, Ava, and Elyse’s mom.  I feel like me, the person who is caring and hard working.  The Amber who has the “fiery red” personality who says way too much and isn’t afraid of my voice being heard. I’m finding that I no longer need to make everyone else HAPPY and that it is ok to put ME first, because without taking care of myself, I can’t be the best for those that matter.

Obviously, some choices are easier than others, (ice cream or a salad…hmmmm you decide), and some need some serious contemplating and rationalizing.  Whatever your choices are remember this, if you keep making the same choice and you’re not happy, it’s time to change. Change is good, it helps us focus on something new and we learn from this. Yes, change is hard and can be scary but look at it as an opportunity to grow and learn.

Look for the good in all your decisions and don’t let one bad choice knock you down. Choose to get back up and show the world who you really are!