On Confidence… October 22, 2018 by Talia RoderCONFIDENCE: Ugh……………………………… Of course the girls would pick me to write about this… I am probably the LEAST confident of the ladies here in She Prospers. “For real Talia??” Yep, for real. I have always been lacking confidence. It’s easy to hide if no one knows you’re there. I was not raised to be disruptive in any way. Someone told me not long ago that they believe I’m super smart, but pretend I’m not so I can hide. I was shocked by this because I finally realized, yes, that’s true. Why? I don’t know? Is it because I’m the middle child? The peacekeeper? The people pleaser? I wonder why and how I ended up this way… But sometimes ladies, we just have to reflect on the way we are and then make a decision to change it. You, are YOU, and YOU are the only person who can change YOU if you don’t like it. CONFIDENCE was my word for 2017. I didn’t have one. So Megan told me, “Talia your word is ‘Confidence.’” And there you have it. I worked on that shit every day for a long long time and continue to do so every day because I’ve realized that confidence is a MUSCLE. The more you work at it, the stronger it gets. The definition of “confidence” states: “the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something, a firm trust.” OK, sounds about right. I have confidence that it’s going to snow in the Winter in Minnesota. I am confident that my oldest child will pull straight-A’s this quarter. But what about when confidence has to do with YOU? When you have to turn inward and that “someone” you need to rely on is yourself? That “firm trust” needs to be trusting in yourself because you’re all you have left? Then guess what… That’s when shit gets HARD. Here’s what I know: Being CONFIDENT is different than being ARROGANT. Confidence comes from a strong sense of self from within. It’s trust in yourself to make smart decisions. ARROGANCE is a bloviated falsity of confidence. A complete fake facade of confidence rooted in deep insecurity. A confident person will never actually tell you that he/she is confident. You’ll feel it. Being confident is HARD. It takes work. It means knowing your worth. It means you know you are more than what people see on the outside. You don’t need to talk about yourself to get attention. It means you are confident in your own skin. You are open to new ideas. You set boundaries and stand firm in your decisions because you believe in yourself. You make decisions easily because you’re not afraid to face the consequences of said decision. Fail or succeed -you’ll be ok because you have the grit to get up and keep going. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” I bet you’ve heard this one. IT’S TRUE. As soon as you start to compare your looks, finances, relationships, family circumstances, friendships, size of your jeans to someone else- you’ve already lost your confidence and self worth. Confidence means getting up every day and thinking, “Just because she’s pretty, doesn’t mean you’re not. Just because she’s happy, doesn’t mean you can’t be! Just because she’s a great mom, doesn’t mean you suck.” It’s TRUE! If women could see each other through the eyes of our closest friends…. well we would most definitely take over the world. If you could see yourself through the eyes of people that love you- you’re confidence would SOAR! So what can we do about these doubts? We can flex that confidence muscle every damn day. That starts with: REFLECTION: Who are you? What are you passionate about? What do you love? Who do you love? Write 10 “I AM” statements. Seriously- do it right now. I’m all about the homework. BELIEVE: Believe that you can do whatever you set your mind to- because you CAN! I don’t care if your neighbor is a size 2, has a perfectly kept house, smart kids, and model husband. I really don’t care. That has nothing to do with your dream of bee keeping and selling your own organic honey. Nothing. You do you Boo. Whatever you want to do- write that down and keep it where you can see it every day. TRUST: Guess what? You’re smart :). I know this because you’re reading this blog and you’ve “liked” She Prospers. You’re a genius!!! But seriously, you make good decisions and you need to trust yourself. You’re gut will never fail you. Take time to listen to what you want, and trust yourself to make the decisions to make that happen. Are you gonna screw it up? Yep. A lot. But here are She Prospers, we are gonna teach you how to be gritty and get up and try again a million times. We already believe in you, and we are gonna keep pushing you until you believe in yourself! DO: Just do it. And keep doing it. Until you get it right. Surround yourself with people who lift you up and get out there and chase your dreams. You are limitless. You are unstoppable. You are confident!!!