How many times have you thought, “Ugh I really hate my job, but I don’t want to look for another one because what if this is as good as it gets?” How many of you have stayed stuck in a relationship that was unhealthy because you didn’t think you deserved more? How many times have you done something for your kids, even though you know they could have done it themselves but it was just easier to “get it done?” Or how many times have you tried on clothes and gotten grumpy about the way they fit because you feel uncomfortable in your own body? Chances are, you have done one of these or felt this way at some point! It’s much easier for us to stay in our comfort zones and not change a darn thing because “what if?” This is why I’m here this week to tell you: YOU DESERVE MORE. It is NOT selfish. Not settling means living life to the fullest.

1. Let’s talk about work: You deserve a job that you LOVE.  Yes you do. When I was getting ready to go to college, I felt this enormous pressure to choose a major and make it my “forever” career. I had the common misconception that I should study hard, graduate, and work in the same job for the next 30 years of my life… slowly inching toward retirement. Did you know that only 10% of people actually work in the field of their college studies? Yep. The truth is, college and job experiences  give us confidence and wisdom to take with us into our next opportunity! It’s a constant build that always leads us to what’s next.  And trust me ladies, if you are a life-long learner and are open to change, you will NEVER go backwards. You just have to be wiling to trust yourself- you are SMART! You are capable. You have the experience. Now it’s time to choose faith over fear and make the change you need to step into a new season of life.

2. On relationships: If your gut is telling you something is wrong, something is WRONG. You are not being irrational, you are not making it up, you are correct. Trust yourself, ask the tough questions, speak to a 3rd party to get perspective and then make a decision to either end that relationship, or work on it. Easier said than done right? This takes time. And it goes for romantic relationships, friendships and work relationships. You deserve relationships that build you UP instead of bring you down. When you shed toxic people from your life, you will be set free and you will SOAR!!! DO NOT SETTLE for relationships that are not reciprocal. Those will not serve you well. A few years ago, I ended a friendship that was bringing me down. It was riddled with competition and envy. My energy was completely ZAPPED after spending time with this person. I was not getting any compassion or companionship from that friendship. It was very much an “I am better than you” situation. I decided one day I had had enough and ended the relationship and let me tell you I felt FREE!!!! I closed the door to that negativity and opened the door to literally HUNDREDS of new friendships with people who wanted to see me happy and succeeding. If your social media feed is bogging you down- clean it up!!! Shed those relationships that don’t serve you and get ready to fly.  I tell my kids they should always be kind and respectful to others, but you don’t have to be friends with everyone.  I’m finally taking my own advice.

3. On parenthood: You deserve kids that are self-sufficient and respectful. I am working on this EVERY DAY. I am a self-proclaimed helicopter parent. I want to do everything for my kids and nurture the heck out of them. It’s too much! I have to fight this urge every day honestly. I keep telling myself the more I do FOR them, the less they will learn to do themselves. I don’t want to send my babies to college not knowing how to make a bed, do their laundry and cook a meal! It feels so uncomfortable for me to say “No, I will not go get you a snack.” “No, I will not bring your homework to school.” “No I will not make your cold lunch.” (For my teenagers) But I’ve realized that setting healthy boundaries will only help them grow into the independent adults they are to become. It goes against every motherly instinct I have to continuously tell them “no” for fear that they will feel unloved. But its just that- I love them SO MUCH, I want them to soar when they leave the nest. This is tough love at its finest. Do NOT settle for meeting your own needs by being co-dependent with your children. You deserve happy and successful kids, and to enjoy those golden years you’re working so hard for right now! And guess what- setting boundaries with your kids NOW will teach them self-care and to trust themselves.

4. On body image: This might sound brutal and bitchy but I’m not here to tell you to love yourself – no matter what size you are. I’m here to tell you if you are uncomfortable in your own skin, stop whining about it and start taking action.  Complaining without a plan is just whining, and whining will not get you ANYWHERE. I’m not saying weight loss is the answer, I’m saying SELF-CARE is. The only way you are going to feel better about this is by developing healthy habits. For some it could be meditation and yoga, for others it’s journaling, joining a walking/running club, getting a massage, finding a workout buddy, whatever! But if nothing changes, nothing changes. You have to get out of your head and make a plan to start feeling better on the inside, and it will start to show on the outside! Do NOT settle for living in a body that can’t keep up with your lifestyle, goals, and dreams for the future! Does taking time out for yourself make you feel selfish? Welcome to the club! But when my kids complain that mom is going for a run (which is seriously two laps around this small neighborhood), I ask them if it’s important to them if their mom stays healthy and strong. Guess what? IT IS. Not only are you modeling healthy habits and a healthy lifestyle for your kids, you are doing yourself good- both physically and mentally!  When you take care of your body, you can take care of everyone you love even better!

The theme of this week is “Don’t settle.” Maybe you didn’t identify with any of the examples I’ve given in this blog, and if not, that’s OK!  We at She Prospers want you to know that no matter what season of life you are in right now, we are not here to judge you or tell you that our way is better. YOU know exactly where you are and what direction you need to go in. So if you feel like it’s time to make some changes, start by writing them down and looking at these decisions every single day. You are only one decision away from living a totally different life!